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This activity samples several areas of parenting in order to draw attention to those areas that are going well and those where there are some problems.  As with other interpersonal areas, the key is to spend most parenting time and energy emphasizing those areas that are working, those things that are going well.  At the same time, some effort and consultation activity need to focus in those areas that are working less well.  Using a rating scale from five to one, rate yourself in terms of the statements below.  Five equals almost always, four equals usually, three equals sometimes, two equals seldom, and one equals almost never.

Once you have completed your ratings for each item, add your ratings together and divide the total by fourteen.  This will give you a parenting score.  Generally, effective parent/child relationships are found where the parenting score is 4.0 or higher.  Even when a score is achieved at this level, though, attention needs to be given to those areas where individual item ratings are three or less and especially where the ratings are two or less.  When parent/child difficulties arise, the first and best strategy is to go back to this activity, focus on each item, and then work on being sure that the parenting score stays in higher than 4.0 for at least a month or so.

1. I am reasonable and fair when disciplining my child.

2. I know what my child needs and what is important to him/her.

3. I am able to get my child to cooperate with me.

4. I spend time with my child everyday.

5. My child likes to spend time with me.

6. I am pleased with and proud of my child.

7. I am familiar with and interested in my child’s activities.

8. I know about and am helping with my child’s problems and difficulties.

9. I set a good example for my child.

10. I give my child his/her space.

11. My child and I regularly talk with each other.

12. I am interested in my child’s ideas and thoughts about things.

13. I support and encourage my child’s being who he/she is and his/her unique style.

14. I am a good parent.

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