Too Much You and Not Enough Me

There is a space between you and me where the balance is just about right, but if the balance gets out of balance, all is not well. That’s true whether you are my child, my partner, my employer, or just someone who wants and needs my attention. In this episode of Audio Tidbits, I give some thought and attention to this balance.

Categories: How To Matter

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Too Smart to be That Dumb

There are many reasons why some of us succeed while others of us are only getting by. One of the more hidden reasons is directly related to how successful people – yes, all of them — communicate. They always have smart conversations. While others are having simple conversations, the successful are doing smart, without anyone noticing. Do you communicate for success? I doubt that you ever do otherwise. I am assuming that you are too smart to be that dumb. Listen and hear how it works.

Being Your Own Person

Do you know someone who is proud of being his or her own person? By that, they mean that the social rules and customs that apply to most of us just don’t apply to them. They think that conforming and predictability are for everyone else but not for them. They are their own person and others will just have to deal with it. Let’s think about how that might work out over time. Press play and join me.

Categories: How To Matter

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Nothing Personal — It’s Just Business

Thanks for giving me a few minutes to share a couple of thoughts about leadership and taking care of business. I found an interesting book that has some ideas worth consideration.

In Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box, produced by the Arbinger Institute and published by Berrett-Koehler Publishers in 2002, I discovered what I think is an important truth for everyone but especially for leaders. It starts with a simple but rather strange proposition.

Self-deception determines my experience in every aspect of life.

There you go. Let me share it again. I don’t know for sure about you but I personally find the assertion very strange.

Self-deception determines my experience in every aspect of life.

Okay, I’ll move on. The arguement works like this.

1. An act contrary to what I feel I should do for another is an act of “self-betrayal.”

2. When I betray myself, I begin to see the world in a way that justifies my self-betrayal.

3. When I see a self-justifying world, my view of reality becomes distorted.

4. When I betray myself, I enter the box.

5. Over time, certain boxes become characteristic of me, and I carry them with me.

6. By being in the box, I provoke others to be in the box with me.

7. In the box, we invite mutual mistreatment and obtain mutual justification. We collude in giving each other reason to stay in the box.